How to love your body and change it too
With it's recent popularity, I've been reading a lot of posts on body positivity/acceptance lately. I think it's great that so many women are sharing their stories and talking about their bodies honestly; it's always nice to realize that you aren't the only one who has insecurities. One thing that bothers me though, is that so many people out there genuinely believe that if you love your body(self) you can't want to change it. That that change , especially to your body composition or shape, can only stem from a negative place. After all, if you loved your body then why would you want to change it?
What does it mean to love your body?
To me, loving your body encompasses loving yourself as a whole. Your body, AND your mind. After all, your mind would not exist without your body and there are so many strong proven scientific ties between the two. Truly loving yourself means caring for yourself and living in way that is beneficial to both your body and mind.
There are two important parts to this.The easiest way for me to explain this is by comparing the love we have for ourselves, with the love we have, or want for/from others. There are reasons we love someone, and then there are ways we have of showing it. For example : I love my boyfriend because he is kind and funny, I show my love for him by being affectionate and cooking for him.
If we truly love someone, then we do things to show it that make them feel good ; just like if we truly love ourselves , we do things to show it that make ourselves feel good.
If you were to ask your significant other what they loved most about you and the only reason they could come up with for loving you at all was that they you were beautiful , chances are that would be a little upsetting. A solid relationship needs to be based on more than just the physical and true love involves a lot more than just thinking someone is easy on the eyes. Someone who only loves you for how you look isn't going to be very considerate of your feelings and isn't going to be motivated to go out of their way to show you that love. You might say they don't actually love you at all, but are simply infatuated. Infatuations are quick, intense and very temporary , often leaving us feeling empty and unsatisfied once the surface is scratched to reveal nothing underneath. They look good on the outside but don't require much effort or time. Love, goes deeper. It takes longer to develop and more effort to sustain but is deeply satisfying.
Now if you asked the same question and they answered that they loved you for your character , your kindness; how funny , strong and smart you are AND how beautiful they think you are would that be a bad thing? Of course not. The person you love thinking you are beautiful is not a negative thing- unless it is the only thing they love about you.
You see I don't think the problem is loving what you look like, or wanting to change your appearance; I think the problem is only loving yourself for what you look like. Placing your entire self worth in your appearance . Believing the only and most important thing you have to offer is what you look like. If you truly believed that your entire value of a person was based on looking a certain way imagine how much pressure you would put on yourself to look that way? Imagine the sorts of things you would be willing to do to your health both mental and physical in order to feel that false sense of worth? The restrictions you would be willing to put up with, the self inflicted damage you would look past because you had to protect the only thing you love about yourself, the only thing you believe anybody else would love about you. This is the thought process behind so many women's fitness goals. "If I have a smaller waist I'll be happy." " If I lose weight I'll be happy" they kill themselves chasing after these goals and if they get to them they still aren't happy because the thing that they thought would bring them love, ended up being a shallow infatuation.
Now what we worked on loving ourselves truly, first? What if the things we loved most about ourselves; body and mind, weren't things that anybody else could see on the outside? What if we protected those things and made them a priority over anything else?
We would choose healthier options out of love for our body and mind. We would stay hydrated because feeling alert and keeping our digestion running smoothly is the least we owe our body for nourishing us every single day. We would give our bodies the movement they crave every day, throw ourselves into the work of becoming stronger, and watch in amazement as our physical triumphs created a ripple effect into every single other area of our being. We would keep our promises to ourselves , proving to ourselves just how capable we really are with each goal that we accomplished. We would place such an importance on self care that we would never dream of doing something intentionally self damaging in the pursuit of vanity. We would give ourselves the grace of improvement at a slow steady pace, taking the time to grow in every way. We would show ourselves kindness when we faultered, and patience during times of hardship. We would celebrate our progress, knowing that no victory is too small in the name of self betterment. We would realize that the project of being our best selves , never really ends and so it is not to be rushed. We would delight in the physical manifestation of our hard work , never comparing our journey to another's.
You are entirely up to you. You are both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.You are this amazing , miracle of life with so much to offer, if you truly know that; and you want to change something physical about yourself, you are under no obligation to accept it in the name of "love". You have every right to build (or not build) your body the way you want to. You are allowed to proud of yourself, and hungry for more. You are allowed to have goals and work hard to become the best version of you- whatever that looks like. You can, and should be multi-dimensional.
Whatever your goal is- learn to love yourself first. When a flower does not bloom , you fix the environment the flower grows in, not the flower. Remember that truly great and lasting change, can only grow from a place of love. The journey of self love is a long one, but while building a house with no foundation may be faster, and look appealing on the outside; it stands no chance against the test of time and sooner or later you will find yourself standing at the same pile of rubble you started with. A solid foundation means that no matter how many times you are forced to- or choose to rebuild, the strongest part of the house remains. Plant the seeds of self love deeply in your mind, nourish and water yourself often, keep your face to the sun and grow in the direction of your hearts desire.
We would choose healthier options out of love for our body and mind. We would stay hydrated because feeling alert and keeping our digestion running smoothly is the least we owe our body for nourishing us every single day. We would give our bodies the movement they crave every day, throw ourselves into the work of becoming stronger, and watch in amazement as our physical triumphs created a ripple effect into every single other area of our being. We would keep our promises to ourselves , proving to ourselves just how capable we really are with each goal that we accomplished. We would place such an importance on self care that we would never dream of doing something intentionally self damaging in the pursuit of vanity. We would give ourselves the grace of improvement at a slow steady pace, taking the time to grow in every way. We would show ourselves kindness when we faultered, and patience during times of hardship. We would celebrate our progress, knowing that no victory is too small in the name of self betterment. We would realize that the project of being our best selves , never really ends and so it is not to be rushed. We would delight in the physical manifestation of our hard work , never comparing our journey to another's.
You are entirely up to you. You are both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.You are this amazing , miracle of life with so much to offer, if you truly know that; and you want to change something physical about yourself, you are under no obligation to accept it in the name of "love". You have every right to build (or not build) your body the way you want to. You are allowed to proud of yourself, and hungry for more. You are allowed to have goals and work hard to become the best version of you- whatever that looks like. You can, and should be multi-dimensional.
Whatever your goal is- learn to love yourself first. When a flower does not bloom , you fix the environment the flower grows in, not the flower. Remember that truly great and lasting change, can only grow from a place of love. The journey of self love is a long one, but while building a house with no foundation may be faster, and look appealing on the outside; it stands no chance against the test of time and sooner or later you will find yourself standing at the same pile of rubble you started with. A solid foundation means that no matter how many times you are forced to- or choose to rebuild, the strongest part of the house remains. Plant the seeds of self love deeply in your mind, nourish and water yourself often, keep your face to the sun and grow in the direction of your hearts desire.
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